This article appeard in the journal Katei zasshi on February 15, 1893. In it, Aizan writes about his grandmother’s recollections of leaving Edo for Shizuoka after the Meiji Restoration.
………
Memories of my childhood, fleeting as a dream, have recently come vividly back to life in my mind, stirred by a manuscript I found tucked away in a bamboo-bottomed chest. It is a copy I made of a record written by my maternal grandmother, detailing how the retainers of the Tokugawa clan relocated to the provinces of Suruga and Tōtōmi during the Meiji Restoration. It reads as follows:
“When the Tokugawa family moved into the castle at Shizuoka in Suruga, the lord, showing great wisdom and consideration, strictly forbade his retainers from accompanying him. Yet, unwilling to disobey his command, and feeling no aversion whatsoever to facing hardship without the stipends they had previously received, they all chose to follow him nonetheless.”
Indeed, the reason my own family left Edo, where we had long been settled, to relocate to Shizuoka was solely out of a sincere desire to remain by the side of the lord whom our family had served for generations, and to share in his fate. It continues:
“Indeed, quite a number of these people remained in the provinces of Suruga, Tōtōmi, and Mikawa. Some sought to purchase existing homes, while others summoned carpenters to discuss the sudden construction of new ones. Many, however, simply rented corners of other people’s houses to live in; it is said that, in that region, they came to be collectively known as ‘otomari-san’.”
The term ‘otomari-san’ simply meant ‘traveller” or ‘lodger’. Alas, I had ultimately become a traveller without a home. My life, like a willow branch buffeted and twisted by the wind, truly began in earnest at that very moment. If the people of the realm possess even a shred of sympathy, let them not wonder why the young men of the Shizuoka shizoku (former warrior class) were slow to make their mark in the world; the truth is, they had been left with neither homes nor land.
It continued:
“In a world of constant flux, where one can find no true peace of mind, it had long been my wish to live a life of quiet seclusion, be it in the remotest fields or the deepest mountains. Thus, accompanied by a kindred spirit, I made my way over the mountain passes, each of us a support to the other, hand in hand, until, after an arduous journey, we arrived in Shizuoka. Yet, even in my humble state, it was my deepest desire to remain, at least in spirit, in the shadow of my Lord’s benevolence, counting myself among those who serve him. Shall I wear myself to ruin, suffering such bitter hardship while remaining devoted to my Lord?”
The women of the warrior class possessed a spirit as unyielding as tempered steel.
It continued:
“I have come to dwell in a dilapidated hut in a remote mountain village near Shizuoka. Thick tangles of weeds and mugwort grow high, vying with the eaves; with no visitors to call upon me, the loneliness is beyond words. It is autumn. The shifting evening clouds seem heavy with melancholy, and the cries of wild geese passing through the dark sky, lonely sounds, mirror my own state of mind; perhaps it is the very nature of this place that evokes such an unbearable sense of sadness. Yet, even though I had long anticipated the sight of the ivy turning crimson, the day has slipped away while I sat lost in contemplation. A faint glow appeared along the mountain ridge, and the moon of the sixteenth night, familiar yet somehow new, rose as if coming to visit my dwelling; seeing that same radiance I had known before, yet finding it unexpectedly moving, I stepped out to gaze upon it.
‘The moon shines more brilliantly here at my humble abode than the image of it I once beheld in Musashino’.”
There are the cherry blossoms of Kokubun-ji, the lotus flowers of Asahata Marsh, and the scenic vistas of Shizuhata, Kunō, Udo, and Tokugan-ji; the stretch of white sands along the Abe River and the vast expanse of azure waves at Kiyomigata; the peach blossoms of Miho-no-Matsubara and the perilous cliffs of Ōhiraki, the list of such natural wonders is endless. These are all places where I played since childhood. Had I grown to adulthood in Edo, I wonder if I could have ever witnessed such an abundance of natural beauty; truly, it is here at my humble dwelling that the moon shines with heightened radiance.
It continued:
“As the day waned, the bush clover rustled in the breeze; the very sound stirred a longing for the voices of those back home. Though I have settled in this desolate dwelling within a secluded mountain village, I cannot bring myself to send word of my state, leaving them, perhaps, unaware of my whereabouts. Meanwhile, gauze-like mists rise ceaselessly, veiling the scene, and the moon, as if attending a festival, lingers in the sky; the atmosphere as dawn approaches is deeply, poignantly moving.
‘How poignant, the moonlight lingering for but a moment,
A reflection of my own uncertain, solitary existence.’”
Unconsciously, tears fell as I read these lines. While victory and defeat in the political world are, after all, the natural order of things, who among the vanquished, or those who served the former regime, could fail to harbour a lingering attachment to the past?
